So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
I don't think my arm is broken I can still text
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
I threw your vagina at him like a grenade. And sweet Jesus he caught it like a champ
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
He is completely naked, curled in a ball, and rocking back and forth in the shower humming lullabies to himself. This is your responsibility since I'm going to be fucking someone in 5.7 seconds.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
