I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
We had fun with our Indiana Jones role-playing until I whipped myself in the dick with my belt.
A man just poked my foot with his crutches while I'm shitting. Is that how the disabled gays ask for a glory hole blow jay?
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
One minute we were playing beer pong, and the next minute I was sprinting to my apartment with a watermelon. wtf happened in between?
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
In my life time, I want nothing more than to get a blow job while watching Space Jam.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
