so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
HE HAS A FUCKING TWIN. HE HAS A TWIN. I'M NOT DRUNK THERE IS TWO OF THEM.
I'm doing somethin that's never been done before...the 10 am booty call come over
Also, yes, I look pretty rough. But my ovaries fought back this morning so getting dressed decently was not a priority.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
Randomize
