So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
We decided to try to steal hot dogs but it ended up with me punching him in the face and crying. Pretty solid night
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
It's nice doing the walk of shame at 530 am, the birds are chirping, campus is empty, and it's dark so noone can see who the Fuck you are
Randomize
