I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
Randomize
