So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
it glows. i had to have it.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I spent the day drinking wine and meditating. I'm zen as fuck.
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
wow bdsm is so cute
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize