but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
She even gives head with a lisp.
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
We have started to decorate penises.
This is one of those times I wish I had a time machine so I could go back and punch myself in the face to make me realize what I need to do before it's too late
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
You must be buzzed on Miller Lite.. Zen master advice is flowing
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
Randomize
