She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
She caught me by google maps... Lets just say it wasnt her car in front of the house.
(440): please tell me you didn't have sex in my dress.. IT'S A VIRGIN DRESS.
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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