i just saw a foot job.
porn is incredible...
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
