I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
my one-armed grandma is doing the YMCA. you figure it out.
So I went outside my house this morning and basically my entire front lawn is covered in gummi bears... I think that involves you guys.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I folded my dollar bills into mustaches in preparation for our trip to the strip club
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
He kept telling me my vagina was a pleasure cave... I ended up just taking it as a complimetn
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