What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I have nothing to say for myself. When 2chainz comes on at the bar all bets are off.
I'm still getting random messages from guys about my Halloween outfit. Electrical tape is coming back next year
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
