I need to shower the guilt off of my thighs.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Apparently, the right response to, "How do you feel about a terrorist being in the area?" isn't, "Well, we have vodka in the freezer, so we're good for now."
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
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