There was a fist fight in my basement last night at four in the morning, in case you were wondering
Theres puke in my trash can and spilled beer next to my bed... come get your girlfriend
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.�
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Wait, but now I'm curious. In what position were y'all when the cops came? Were you guys butt ass naked in the car? 😂😂
Randomize
