Saw 2 former students outside gas station. gave me money to buy 2 12 packs, asked if I wanted to go to their party.
I told them I had a gf and took one of the 12 packs. Come over.
Texas should really raise its teaching standards.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Only I would come home from a random banging with beer and watermelon
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
He actually just looked up and said I'm gonna cum in my pants. and he did. no shame.
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
NOT PREGNANT HIGH FIVE!
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