if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Too bad my thesis topic isn't "defining a hot mess: a study in drinking, smoking and other bad life decisions."
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
For only eating leftover pizza for breakfast today, you sure do have a lot to vomit up...
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Still had our rainbow strip poker new years tradition. End of night we were only wearing mask.
Did you get the usual surprise pics from the strange straight you like to sprinkle in.
Randomize
