YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
I basically get to watch her life fall apart via tumblr updates
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
I still think he fell and scraped his elbow and lost his credit card buying 8 hot chocolates for hobos
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
Randomize
