I'm in the liquor aisle and a 10 yr old boy yells, "My favorite beer is Corona! Daddy remember when you gave me some on our camping trip?"
I've spent the last three hours watching 30 rock and eating marshmallows and ham. I'm considering taking up weed to justify my lifestyle.
I'm customer of the month for a 3rd time now at the Wine store. I've achieved so much in my life
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Just woke up to find myself in a random bed with two people next to me having sex. I thought it would be awkward to just suddenly get up so i think I'm gonna lie here and pretend I'm still sleeping.
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
I wanna just rip ass and see his reaction but i bet itd be better to shatter that illusion when hes drunk
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
My mom has a bong in her bathroom, but no air freshener.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
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