But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
My ass is underappreciated
In my defense I didn't know there was concrete on the other side of that fence when I tossed him over it.
You're both fucking idiots and this is why I should never let you two drink alone.
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
Randomize
