My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
You don't have a penis so I'm not texting you at this hour. This is penis texting hour only.
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
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