making cat noises will not fix the situation.
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
I've orgasmed so many times tonight I think I've become enlightened
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
