that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Opened my purse to realize I have someone else's birth certificate. What happens to me in college?
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
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