Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Im telling you now. Hang out with winning football players and you get whatever the hell you want. Sorry to wake you. But its important knowledge.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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