he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Good. Need a drinking partner later. FOR AMERICA!!!
listen I need taco bell and an orgasm within the next hour. I'll leave the order in which you provide those things up to you
looked it up online and zoo tickets are only 20 bucks and there's also a museum of science close to the hotel.
i'm not going to a FUCKING museum. i want to be wasted and possibly double penetrated... have you EVER been on vacation?
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
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