i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
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