I just puked in an auto zone parking lot. I'm never eating peanut butter and red wine for dinner again.
Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
