So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I just ate an adderall and jelly sandwich in front of my mom. Homework time!
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
i'm only riding in the trunk because they put the case of beer back here..
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
I mean, I want you to have freaky orgasmic fun to entertain me, but I don’t want you to risk HIV or car crashes
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
