Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
To describe how high he was he said, " I'm cocked out of my ape sandwich" so yes...that was some pretty good weed.
Randomize
