pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Stop selling my mother weed! She's annoying as hell when she's stoned.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
im In safeway buying a bottle of Ciroc in short shorts at 3:00 pm on a Monday, yeah I don't know either.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
as your best friend, I hope we never outgrow 'I Just Got Laid' texts
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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