I did that thing where I cum for no reason again.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
Pre-St Patricks Day Log: Threw up across a 14ft radius, this is why the irish dont drink tequila
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Homeboy was juggling while taking bong rips. Of course he got laid.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
You told him he looked like Jesus and that you wanted to fuck his face, I'd say your blind date went well
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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