hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
i think i'm in class. and blacked out.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Hi I am on my way. I stopped and got the cheeseburger you asked for. Are you gonna pay me back?
Who is this?
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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