He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
Dude my triple a card is good for bail. This is like a real live get out of jail free card
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
No exaggeration. At the gas station she handed me the mop from over the counter and told me that's my last drink of the night
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
I wish there were more things in this world as wonderful as string cheese
Surriously
You're my best friend, so I'm kinda scared to say this, but.....I kinda feel odd when I show up with you at your family events and I have banged or blown at least 3 people in the room
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
