when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
I'm never going out with the ashleys again. it was whoreible. terrifyingly whoreible.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
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