3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
I was just reelected president of justgotlaidsylvania
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
I've decided it's okay if I take a pregnancy test every month. Then I can be like, "Good job, self, way to not procreate this month!"
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