why didn't you poke me back
My nipple is on Facebook.
somehow writing 'not a skank' on yur boobs doesn't really make you look less skanky...
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
Randomize
