she asked me if the dress made her look fat, i told her no - the fat made her look fat.
I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
1. They have gold fish races every wednesday. 2. They have a redbull vodka slushie. We need to visit this place.
1. My fish will beat your fish. 2. Were getting fucked up
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I had to drink a couple beers this morning so I could attend the keg race. Hangover had to dissipate or it wasn't happening.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Are you done yet? I've eaten three corndogs so I'm ready 2 party.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
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