I just walked in on my mom and dad......It wasn't my dad
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
On a side note I can sing drakes “best I ever had” so good you’d think I was on degrassi.
You have to stop making references to your extense knowledge of 13 year old girl television programming for me to believe you aren’t homo. The Bravo line-up was one thing, but seriously
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
I'm drinking carlo rossi straight from the jug. I don't have any clean cups...how am I still at this point in my life...
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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