Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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