her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Randomize
