How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
To bright to open both eye. Get pizza and put in feeding tube so i can sleep more
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
BRING THE BAGELS
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
