...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
Literally just spent 45 minutes converting my paintball gun to shoot condoms....
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
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