You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
Moral of the story: always keep condoms in your bra
I told him he could fuck me in his Notre Dame jersey if they won and he never texted back. What is this world coming to
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
Randomize
