Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
