just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I just forgot I was standing up.
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Randomize
