After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
And tell the hostess not to worry, she's narcoleptic and fell asleep on the way to the bar, but she'll be fine in a few minutes.
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
I think I've been inadvertently participating in a contest to see how many times I can show up to work hungover in my first year of teaching. And I'm the only participant. Not sure if I'm winning or losing.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
Randomize
