What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Hey, next time you have sex, flick his balls, and tell him "thats for getting spit in jennifer's eye and laughing about it."
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
It's 2016 and I'm somehow banging the milkman.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
