I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
Just used your umbrella as a puke sheild. Thanks man.
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
The best part about passing out on the floor was the fact that when I pissed myself, I didn't piss the bed again.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
Omg last night I was giving shots out like I was the Willy Wonka of the alcohol world.
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
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