Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
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