What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
for future reference: playing drunken strip-twister is a euphemism for a threesome. just thought you should know.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
Sooooooo, maybe just fucked on a motorcycle.
Randomize
