There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
My mother just made an innapropriate gesture with a cucumber while grocery shopping at whole foods... Then she said "bitches love cucumbers" and all this time i thought i was adopted
I stared at him for a solid five minutes because he looked like what I imagine god would look like if god was a lumberjack
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
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