so explain again why im purple
no
your dad just showed up on the golfcart with a keg. i. love. our. neighborhood.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
Her mom is a nurse who got called in to declare someone dead. Just got wing manned by a corpse.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
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